As a future bride, I am swamped with vendors wanting to give me a "deal" or "special price." Most of them call to tell me they are the best of the best in the area, only to hear that I'm having a luxurious destination wedding and I will not need their services. HA! Take that!
My most recent ploy came from a Mary Kay consultant, claiming that I had won a spa day for me, my bridesmaids, and the mothers of the bride and groom. In fact, according to her, David's Bridal only picks one winner a month, and I was it. Fabulous! I never win anything, so you can imagine my excitement. As a future bride and mother of a one year old, boy did I need it.
So, we set a tentative date and I sent the girls a Facebook message (this has replaced email, didn't you know?). After a few emails and phone calls from the darling consultant (still claiming I had been a winner), we set it in stone. It wasn't hard to convince the girls to come - it was a spa day after all. I guess the promise of brownies and mimosas didn’t hurt either.
The day finally arrived. Despite my better judgement (and my lack of serving trays), I pulled the Christmas china out. The table was set with ham biscuits on a dazzling snowflake plate, brownies sat atop a mistletoed platter, and the Cheez-It Snack Mix in a Christmas tree bowl.
A virgin to cheap champagne bottles (or any champagne bottle, for the matter), the popped plastic “cork” shot right at my forehead and champagne shot all over my counters, microwave and floor. I giggled, a virgin indeed. Coincidentally, the same thing happened with the GingerAle. I still laughed. Nothing like a good soda shower.
The orange juice and champagne was served in four red and green snowflaked wine glasses. The rest of us would have to settle for the plastic magic bullet cups with our personalized red and blue screw-on rims. (One of the best Christmas presents ever!)
The consultant arrived and set up our spa experience by placing MaryKay Christmas gift sets up on my living room side table. My long, micro-fiber couch would have to do for a table. “I can just squeeze everything in their hands,” she told me. The do-it-yourself spa experience. A first in my book.
First, I’ll show my guests how to put wax and an exfoliant on their hands, wash it off and add lotion. Instantly smooth hands. Amazing. “And only $34 for the entire set.” WOW!
“Now - use this cloth to dab your face and remove your make-up.” Are we having fun yet? Where’s my hot towel?
“This is our night time formula. I’m going to put a dab on the back of your hand and you’ll feel your skin tighten up.” Speaking of tight - how’s that tension in your shoulders?
“Here’s our daytime formula, and it even has SPF. Put it on your face in an upward-down motion.” I’m sorry, is that up or down? Aren’t you supposed to be doing this?
“Now we’ll determine your foundation. I’m going to come around to all of you to find your color. Just turn your neck to the side and I’ll test it.” Ok, yeah, testing my neck. I like the sound of that. Can you dab that foundation a little harder? Oh, that’s the spot.
Here comes that upward-down motion again. Really? Isn’t she supposed to be doing this? Can we at least get some cucumbers on our eyes? I knew I forgot something at the store.
Last, but not least, blush, liquid lipstick and lipgloss. Finally, something that releases some tension - a little color and glam. Now this - this I will use my free $25 gift certificate on for hosting the party. HA! Take that!
Oh - I forgot to mention the intriguing and intuitive purse game that we played throughout our little spa adventure. Grab your purse and see if you can identify things that start with these letters...
“Great. M stands for MaryKay - the founder of our company.”
“Great. E stands for enriching women’s lives.”
“Great. S stands for social responsibility.”
OK - Enough!
OMG - Where is my pedicure?
OUCH - I thought this would get rid of my headache.
So maybe I’m over-exaggerating a little. I can’t say it was all that bad. I was with my girlfriends and we were drinking mimosas. We did get a kick out of the crazy colors that ended up on our faces. And a laugh out of the sales pitch that we were tricked into hearing - not just to buy the expensive “affordable” make-up, but to sell it too. The promise of a bright pink MaryKay Cadillac may have been tossed around - but only if you make it to a Sales Manager position - chances are slim to none. The “we are not a pyramid scam” speech, and the “we do not make commissions, we receive ‘thank you’s’ from the company” speech really convinced me.
Oh the lengths you marketers and advertisers will go through to get me to buy something.
I should know, I work in for an online company that sells pet products. And yes, you did win a spa day for you and your pet. Enjoy the do-it-yourself spa experience, where all your have to do is everything, and all we want from you is your money.